Archive for category Family & Friends
picture by: indie-handmade
The thought of change and the thought that if I speak up people will change? No.. I made a fool out of myself most of the time. People continue using me and ignored what I said. When I do snapped they think I have mood swings but please think again. Why do I snap?
I am angry, bothered and frustrated and all the trivial things added up to the explosion of emotions.
Although I have a Dominant personality at work, I am far away from Dominant at home. I choose to be a ‘C’ compliant and not complain. I am trying very hard to keep my cool at home but I do have my limitations. I don’t like to repeat what I said like a broken recorder and I hate to please people all the time.
Give me a break!!
As a starter for a new beginning:
Have a heavy lunch on your own and I am not going to cook dinner as setting the table is so difficult.Tweet
Today I am writing about caring for parent. These topic will never see daylight and mostly are avoided by each and every family members as the responsbility is too huge to be discussed and nobody knows how its going to turn out to be when there’s anything happen. I for one, does not want to imagine at all, nor am I brave enough to prepare myself if the day comes.
I am sure everyone knows how our parents love us, whether they show their affection directly or indirectly. Who are we to say they should do this or should not do that when no parents have any training to be a parent. As if there is an institution for a Degree for Parenting or perhaps Master PhD for Parenting. Our parents love us the way they know how, not the way we want them to, if you agree with me.
Last week, my colleague share a story on ‘ Parent does not own a child’. I dont understand why does a parent not own a child when the children is theirs. But after she share with me the story, if you are not a parent perhaps you may not understand how it hurts to know that the child is never owned by the father or mother no matter how much love and sacrifices the parents has given. The father and mother does not own their children because when their children grown up, enter adulthood and have family of their own, they are on their own, they make decisions on their own, they live on their own, they earn a living on their own and they WANT TO BE on their Own. Parents is their guidance, parents become the ground they fall on when they fail, parents is their security but parents still does not own them because parents cannot control their child anymore. The child who once born into this world who need the parents for the love and care are now an independent individual. The love that the parents give to their child are endless and unmeasurable no matter what / how, or even if their children is just a pure evil from hell. But children on the other hand may not love back their parent the same way and may even fight and hate or even stop caring for the parents if things does not go their way. Hence, the blame and many sobs story that turn family relationship sour.
A moment of self reflection? I couldn’t agree more for what my colleague shared that day. Yes, we want to be independent, yes we want to have our OWN time, OWN family, OWN life. Then I thought, how about our parents? They included us in everything and everypart of their life, but did we? or Did I do the same to my old and fragile and lonely parents? I feel so awful because they have spend their whole life to provide for us, for their child and now, they are old and the children all grown up have the life of their own and they are at home, waiting for the children to spend some time with them. Lonely and time is ticking. Then when their health deteriorate, who is to care for them?
Have you ever ask yourself, How to be a filial child? When the parents aging, or when the time comes the topic of Inheritance, End of Life Decision, Dividing Assets, Senior housing/ Nursing Homes, getting a Maid, Resigning from Work to care for the Parents. All these are painful decisions that most of the time break a family to dust.
When my mother in law was hospitalised in ICU, I am actually quite scare to hear about the decision time. As a daughter in law I do not want to interfere nor have any say. It is up to the children to decide. It is a painful decision no matter how the family member reason with the situation, there is no right or wrong but its still a decision no one can avoid, humaine or not humaine is never a question. It is their mother who they have to let go, to tell the medical officer what they should do. I think my MIL love her children so much that she survived for a month, prepared us for the worst and took her last breath peacefully in her sleep.
All these years, Hubby and his elder sister was not the one who care for the mum, due to logistic the elder brother took care of MIL. I praise my BIL and his wife as they both showered MIL with so much love and attention and they raised their children well to love MIL so much. My MIL has many illnesses due to old age, bed sores and severe eczema and I see from my own eyes, how my SIL care for the old lady who give birth to the son, her husband and she treat my MIL like her own mother with so much care and love that I felt touch and I question myself many times. Can I do that? Can I do that? I can assure you, I cant! I dont know how, but I cant. Her care for my MIL is so sincere that I think my nieces are blessed with a caring mum, such a loving person. Who cares if she is not perfect, she’s the perfect daughter in law I can tell you that.
Usually one sibling shoulders more if not most of the caregiving burden for the parents. In hubby’s case, my BIL took most of the responsibility (99.99%) and I never seen arguements and I never seen siblings driving each other crazy for the responsibility. Its a blessing to the family. Its the strong family values that avoided the rivalry of who should do what and when thingy. My BIL and his wife as a parents has set a very good example for their children I believe.
The question of responsibility is not over. Thank God both my parents are still alive. Thanks to my sister for buying all those vitamins for my parents to keep illnesses away. What if one day, when my parents need around the clock care. Can my sister handle the responsibility? She has 2 lovely children and it will put so much stress to her family, even worst if the husband isn’t supportive enough. Will I be flying excuses to avoid the responsibity? Will I be able to care and nurse my parents when they need me? Will my brother able to take care of my parent too? Can anyone agree to the arrangement? How about Father and Mother, how would they feel? Hows the transition will be, any teamwork? Is the family ties strong enough and not tear apart? Usually the younger child always refer to the elder one for guidance, also usually if not the eldest there will be one stronger family member who will drive the siblings to do the right thing.
The question : Who is taking the role of Financial support, who can be the chauffeur, caregiver, health advocate, maid, errand runner, legal surrogate, driver, counsellor, the motivator. Does the parent raised a filial child? Will the child sacrifice and love the way the parent has loved them? Only time will tell.
I praise my BIL and his wife for their sacrifices and being able to manage all this with the runaway maid, 3 busy schooling children who are growing up so fast, enters teenage, years of rebel, love issues, exams etc. I appreciate my sister for her being patient to our parents and be there for them when they needed and I know I have not done enough for them
Can I wish that my parents will not grow old and have the strongest and best of health? Really long live and mobile, and happy and no illnesses?
Am I a filial child?
Are you a filial child?
Is your love enough?Tweet
We all love you……………………
Good Lord!! For some reason, I shall not mention any name but the culprit should know himself that it is his responsibility to show me good food back in Kuantan and it is his responsibility to taking care of my tummy for my whole life.
Can you believe that I missed out having really good chicken rice in this part of the Kuantan town like ‘literally’ forever until just recently? Restoran Capital now known as Nasi Ayam Hotel New Capitol was rated the best Chicken Rice in Kuantan and I didn’t even know that. Booooooo.. Booooooo to the culprit and I shall not name who
The Hainanese Chicken Rice restauran has evolutionized as a fast food as well because as we enter the restaurant and before we have the chance to warm our chair the workers served each of us plates of fragrant chicken rice, sauce, chillies, cutleries.
The next thing that follows is to answer their questions. “How many portion?” “What chicken?”
Here’s a pic of chicken rice, please act ‘delighted’ as if you never seen a plate of rice before.
I always like the authentic white chicken hainanese style because its juicy, tender and soft.
Also not to be missed roasted chicken, the seasonings of oil and soy sauce brings out the flavour of the chicken and it is not dry / tough at all. Its really good!!
I love to eat chicken innards but not the culprit, the one who I shall not name.
Food that we ordered.
The interior of the restaurant, looks like dining in the 70s.
This restaurant is located in Kuantan town itself, address I dont know. SorryTweet
Guess what? I have issues.
I C A N T Resist F R E E B I E S
This year I did not even plan to go for the run actually but my company again sponsored the events and this time we are allowed to bring our family to run too. So despite knowing what I would get myself into, I signed up. There’s 3 categories for the 10KM run and I enrolled in 10KM cruise because I am Kiasu like that.
Here’s what happen before- during- and to the finishing of the 10KM run
Start – I thought I heard the sound of Thunder!! Then I realized thats the sound my stomach made. LOL Hungry!!
1st KM – I should pee just now, I think I need to pee.. I guess I can hold it until later
2nd KM – I should really pee just now
3rd KM – after 20 mins, what??? Are you kidding me??? I ran so hard until like half dead and its only 3KM?!! Fuck the Marathon!
4th KM – 100 plus 100 plus 100 plus, dont give me water .. 100 plus only - I had 2 glass to quench my thirst.
5th KM – I should pee when I got the chance (hold hold hold)
7th KM – Eh? I am almost there yeyeyeyeyeyyey
Last 3KM – Food!!! Food!! Next time I must bring money so I can stop at mamak
Last 1KM -On Eco mode, must reserve my battery for later. Everybody expect you to run to finish line.
Last 500 meter – I probably should walk till the End but Honda says I can do it?? Serious?? So I restart my engine started running again
Last 400 meter – This banner make me stop. I swear!!!
Last 200 meter- I probably should run
Last 100 meter – Fuck it!! I’m walking
Last 50 meter – Gosh! So many cameras !!! I have to run too many eyes looking. I kiasu like that
Here’s my finisher Medal!!
I finish the 10KM run in 1:37.04.
Anyho.. I am still proud. Woohoo!!
Very recently Hubby and I took leave to go back hometown.
2 months has past since the last we went back to visit my MIL. We tried to go back every month however meetings with contractor during weekends, exam around the corner for Jess Minn (you should know now my niece staying with us), my father recent cataract treatment and myself going for exam delays our travel till that long.. fuhh
There’s no good timing or bad timing for what we planned going back this last weekend was God giving us the chance to be able to see my MIL and be there for her when she needed us the most. We got back on Friday and my MIL was hospitalised for a series of virus infection that has spread all over her body. The doctor diagnosed her with pneumonia and she has difficulty to breath.
Everyone was there for her, All her children was back at hometown for the weekend, including grandchildren and we prayed hard for her to recover and for God to show mercy to her and not let her suffer – we are so helpless. I cried the moment I saw her on the hospital bed, my tears just rolling down and I can’t bear to see her in pain.
The doctor asked us to prepare for the worst. She manage to pull through on Friday and we are relieved for a while. On Saturday we had another scared from the nurse as they informed us that her Oxygen level has dropped and its not improving. Everyone cried and the eldest niece Jess Lynn cried the loudest. Its the first time I saw Hubby cry and I ask him “Are you crying?” both of us shedding tears and Hubby replied “sand got into his eyes” !!!
[background music: Smoke Gets in Your Eyes]
During the 3 days going back and forth to the hospital, I can’t help but looking at other patients. There’s this Makcik who was admitted on the same day as MIL, she was living on artificial respiration because the machine is providing her with breath/ oxygen. Both Hubby and I agreed that she has already passed on, the same night the doctor declared she’s dead.
Everywhere I look inside the ward, ailing patients struggling and in pain while the loves one looking on. Helpless and lost. Same happen to us, seeing the pain my MIL going through yet we can’t help her except to ask God to have Mercy on her and put her in the care of the doctor and nurses. Just wish and pray ..
We went to hospital ulang alik until Sunday and my MIL is still too weak to wake up when we call her and tell her we are heading back to KL. I wasn’t sure she is conscious or semi conscious but the medicines and antibiotics that the Dr gave her has showned sign of improvement on her and we are grateful and relieved.
Hope MIL will get well soon!! We’re going back aga
Last Sunday we celebrated Maximus 1 year old birthday celebration at Brozeit in Sunway Pyramid. A day before we went to Brozeit in Midvalley too. Now we are just tired of the meat and will stay away from it for a while.
Maximus was so energetic and happy that day. He laugh alot and have fun playing with hubby throwing tupperware at the restaurant. Capture these photos and absolutely love his smile. Just can’t stop smiling by just looking at his photo. He is so adorable.
Happy Birthday Baby Maximus!! Auntie and Uncle loves you a Lot!!!
One year old is the best age to play with now and surprisingly he likes hubby unlike Aurora who fear him and cried everytime he saw hubby since she is 6 months old. But now she’s used to the uncle already no issue dy.
That same day we celebrate Maximus birthday, hubby also got his Samsung S3 but he have to register a new line at Maxis. Digi line sucks anyway and its time to change. His new toy and not letting me play with it.
At night, I cook Bibimbap my style. It was such a lovely dinner (puji sendiri). Ingredients include, chicken meat (leftover KFC), fresh cucumber, fried crunchy anchovies, Choy sum, prawn with chinese shiitake mushroom, carrots, fried eggs, kimchi and gochujang. I forgot to put seaweed by the way.
We planned to for oatmeal dinner for the month of June, but from the 1st day of the month we went for Buffet dinner at Red Box, follow by Brozeit at Midvalley, Bibimbap, then Seafood Paella and Linguinni Vongole at Deautches Gathaus TTDI and then Super big crab from Nilai.
Do you think we can achieve the target this month? Doubt it!! But am still trying.
Too much good food recently, its time to put a stop and eat Oatmeal again and bread. Recent rave was Homebaked Bread and will be ordering it by weekly
My blog isn’t dead but I am plain lazy to update it and plain lazy to even touch the laptop at home. Last week Kuantan family was in town, and the eldest niece stayed with us for several more days here doing her shopping and also catch up with the younger sister. While the house is messy, and due to Jess Minn is having exam this week, we let it be for now until she finishes the exam. I hope the dining table will be free from clutter after that.
On Saturday we went to Jalan Ipoh to survey tiles design and price, there’s many shops closed that day due to Agong’s birthday pulak. We went to KLPac for a short drive-thru tour given by hubby as he always go there like 2-3 times a week and he wanted to show us around a bit. Drove past Sentul West and the township gave the feel like you’re in western countries. Very nice and modern design and of course hefty price tag too.
After that, we drove around TTDI areas some of terrace house undergone renovation and facelift recently looks so nice and modern. Some are very unconventional and ingenious design and it never occur to me at all a terrace house can have that kind of facade.
Also I’ve got the final quotation from the Contractor and I am still changing scope. I am playing with the possibility to utilise part of the balcony to enhance the space of the already big Masterbedroom, and the rest of the balcony space for a construction of another planter’s box and a bare floor with a raw finishing. I’m hoping that it will turn out gorgeous coz I imagine it in my crazy mind that it will. Still I’ll leave this to the ID later to visualise it in 3D.
And yesterday I went to Melaka as I need to sit for the company exam. Have to memorise the company philosophy and apply it to work. I dread to do this kind of activity as for me its like a brainwash session for a slightly little extra money in the pocket everymonth. The exam lasted a day with Objective and Subjective questions, follow by group presentation and then 2 separate individual presentation with 4 breaks. Anyway its past and waiting for the result which will be announced in 2 weeks time I guess.
Now I am back at work and works piling up I must quickly get it done before going away on Friday back to Kuantan to visit my MIL.
Tata for now